The #1 Tip For Men

Whether you just go #1 or, depending on your level of insecurity, Release the Kraken or Syphon the Python or See a man about a horse when, let's be honest, Bleed the worm is probably more accurate, we need to address that errant stream. 

You could or might have already installed a urinal but there is an easier way.

When you go to Drain the blind worm you first need to open the worms mouth. It is kind of like when you get up and you have to pry open your crusty eye. Think of someone, perhaps yourself, having to suddenly vomit with no nearby receptacle. You try to stem the flow with your hand and of course it just goes all over the place. This is what is happening to your stream. The opening is kind of glued shut and when you go to pee it comes out anywhere but where you are aiming. The rim. The floor. The wall. Eventually it straightens out but meanwhile you or "someone" has some cleaning up to do. 

Simply reach down and pry open the worms mouth before you start. You will realize how well this works the next time you don't do this. 

As to shaking it...I got nuthin'. Your on your own there.