CLICHES
I know some people who seem to spit out cliches. I have concerns with a few of them in particular.
"Happy wife, happy life." Hmmm! Not necessarily. What if what makes your wife happy is spending money like it grows on trees or worse what if gambling makes her happy and she is not very good at it? i.e. she loses a lot of money. What if cheating makes her happy? You get the idea.
I get it. It has it's place. That is called compromise and it is a good thing but it goes both ways. Just because there is no cute little cliche about husband because husband doesn't rhyme with life doesn't mean....it takes 2. That's all I'm sayin'.
"Glass 1/2 full vs. 1/2 empty." I never liked this one. Think about it. Let us use money and a bag instead of a glass. We both have a bag that, when full, will hold $1000. I give you, the 1/2 full person, a bag with $500 and the promise to give you another $500. I have a bag with $1000 and I go out and buy a big screen TV leaving me with a 1/2 empty bag with $500 in it. I have $500 in my half empty bag and you have $500 in your 1/2 full bag but I also have a big screen TV. I don't get it. You are sitting there waiting for who knows how long for that bag to fill up and I, on the other hand, am watching the Super Bowl on my big screen TV?
If you insist on the glass thing then I have a half of a glass of beer in my belly watching the Super Bowl on my big screen TV while you are sitting there with a half of glass of warm beer staring at the wall waiting for it to fill up? No you can't come over to watch my TV. You made your choice. I don't get it.
"Don't assume because the ass and you and me thing."
Again, this has it's place but to just spit this out because someone says they assume something? The way I see it is that we all make assumptions many, many, many times a day. We all assume we will take another breath. That our heart will continue to beat. What if I told you that in one minute a large heavy metal part of an airplane would fall right where you are? Would you move? No. The likelihood of that happening is so ridiculous, but yet, you cannot possibly know for 100% that it won't happen so you must assume. If you didn't make assumptions you would not be able to live. If you drive a car you assume that some drunk isn't headed your way or that someone coming in the opposite direction will not have a heart attack and cross that little line of paint on the road. By the way, they are driving because they assume their heart will keep beating. If you don't know something 100% it will be an assumption.
(Warning: Any statements like those above should be followed up by "knock on wood" or "God forbid that should happen" just in case a large metal object should fall from the sky or someone has a heart attack because you know that you will be blamed because you said it. But if you invoke "knock on wood" or "God forbid that should happen", that absolves you of any responsibility.)
UMMM! UMMM! That's gotta hurt. Not my fault. What do you think that was? A propeller?
There are times when you should not assume. If there is a path to certainty then it is wrong to assume.
I know people who sling these things all over the place. Please just stop.
"Don't cry over spilt milk?" Why not? If you want to cry, just have at it. Don't listen to them.
"Curiosity killed the cat?" Really? No it didn't. (Well, maybe 1 or 2) Someone just doesn't want you nosing around. Go for it. They are hiding something. Be curious. You may find out something very juicy.
"Read between the lines?" There is nothing between the lines except blank spaces unless you are seeing the middle finger with both adjacent fingers?
"Bring it to the table?" What table? I don't see a table unless your waiting for your meal then, yes, bring it to the table.
"Choose your battles." Really? Sure. Give up. You can't win. NO! NO! NO! Don't let those losers stop you. Win or lose. Go for it!
"You can catch more flies with honey?" Not in my experience. It's poop. Yeah! It's not honey. They will be all over that poop. Put that honey on your toast or in your tea.
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." Isn't that the definition of insanity?
"Two's company but three's a crowd." Not necessarily.
"Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise." NOPE! Tried it.
Some kind of make sense in the proper context. For instance...
"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth." Apparently you can tell how old a horse is or what kind of shape it is in by it's teeth or something? Works for you if you are buying a horse but if it is a gift, eh, maybe even then?
"Don't cross that bridge until you come to it." That just seems logical especially if you are prone to burning your bridges behind you.
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Well DUH!
"What you don't know can't hurt you." Tell that to George of the jungle. Watch out for that tree George.
"Too much of anything is bad for you." I know. You have a hard time with wrapping your head around this one but trust me, it's true.
So, question those that cliche. (I couldn't figure out how to write clichers. Spell check said "cliche rs" but that doesn't look right?) Don't live your life by cliche and don't allow others to abuse those cliches. Go out and assume, be happy, watch your new TV while having a beer/wine and feel good that you knew when to walk away but if you do choose that battle fight like there is no tomorrow (OK! Maybe that is a bit much.), but go ahead, cry, stay up as late as you want, sleep in the next day and don't worry about the cat. He or she will be fine and so will you.
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